Post-Partum Depression - Seek Help for a Better Mind

I’ve been having a lazy day at home. Yay! Yay! And more Yay!!! My four munchkins are in Gaborone with my mom and dad for the school hols, and Hubby is in West Africa for work, so I stayed at home and did absolutely NOTHING!

Now you know if you are in front of the telly and you are watching your fav channel, you will watch the same thing over and over again thanks to the repeat patterns on DSTV! But alas, nothing in this world is in vain. Everything happens for a reason. I'm watching Tia and Tamera and Tia is going on and on about post-partum depression. Right now I’m watching the same episode for the third time and it's hitting home. It’s very easy to think that you go through things alone and that’s because when things happen to you it can be so intense you forget that your’re really not that special and it might affect millions of women in the world. 

I just saw a scene where Lisa Rina tells Tia that when she had post-natal depression, she was suicidal and she remembers asking her husband to hide all the knives in the house so that there was no possibility of harming herself or her child. I got goose bumps listening to this, because it was so similar what I have been through. At the time I didn’t just feel like I was sad or weepy. I really felt like I was going insane and I wasn't able to control the horrible and harmful thoughts that came to my mind.

So yes, I have had post natal depression and it’s something that can take you to a very dark place. I remember seeing a psychologist and crying my eyes out. She gave me some mind excercises to do at home, but that helped me in no way. She was against medication because I would probably have to stop breast feeding and she was personally against this. I went back home and was extremely frustrated. After a week I went for a second opinion and my doc prescribed me an anti-depressant. And I lie to you not, in three days I was back to my old self because my hormones balanced out. I got so much flack from everyone because I had to stop breastfeeding. A friend of my parents even went to the extent of going on the net and printing me info on why it’s important to breast feed your child. I actually get sad thinking about that because everyone considered the baby, but no-one cared to think about what I was going through. And let it be known, that although my children have only been breast fed for a month (because I have re-occuring depression, especially when my hormones get imbalanced due to pregnancy) ,there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of them!! I have four strong, healthy children, and that’s because I fought for a healthy mind.

So listen, if you are going through this, I know that everyone expects something from you and you don’t want to disappoint anyone, and you also don’t want to under-perform as a mom. I just want to tell you that if you are not okay, then your baby is not okay. You have to be real with yourself, stand your ground, and throw other peoples’ expectations out the door because admitting that you have post-natal drepression and getting help does not make you a lesser mom than any other mom out there.

When it comes to your own welfare and that of your child’s you have the right to make the decisions and do what’s right. As a woman and as a mom, the power is yours. Believe that and own it!

Here are the contacts for the Postnatal Depression Support Association South Africa (PNDSA) – you can go to http://www.pndsa.org.za or call 082 882 0072. Remember, you hardly regret the things that you do, but usually the things that you don’t do. You can also contact your GP to get help and for referral to a psychologist or psychotherapist.