I’ve been having a lazy day at home. Yay! Yay! And more Yay!!! My four munchkins are in Gaborone with my mom and dad for the school hols, and Hubby is in West Africa for work, so I stayed at home and did absolutely NOTHING!
Now you know if you are in front of the telly and you are watching
your fav channel, you will watch the same thing over and over again thanks to
the repeat patterns on DSTV! But alas, nothing in this world is in vain.
Everything happens for a reason. I'm watching Tia and Tamera and Tia is going
on and on about post-partum depression. Right now I’m watching the same episode for the third
time and it's hitting home. It’s very easy to think that you go through things alone and
that’s because when things happen to you it can be so intense you forget that
your’re really not that special and it might affect millions of women in the
world.
I just saw a scene where Lisa Rina tells Tia that when she had post-natal depression, she was
suicidal and she remembers asking her husband to hide all the knives in the house
so that there was no possibility of harming herself or her child. I got goose
bumps listening to this, because it was so similar what I have been through. At the time I didn’t just feel like I was sad or weepy. I really felt like I was going insane and
I wasn't able to control the horrible and harmful thoughts that came to my mind.
So yes, I have had post natal depression and it’s something
that can take you to a very dark place. I remember seeing a psychologist and
crying my eyes out. She gave me some mind excercises to do at home, but that helped me
in no way. She was against medication because I would probably have to stop breast feeding and she was personally against this. I went back home and was extremely frustrated. After a week I went
for a second opinion and my doc prescribed me an anti-depressant. And I lie to
you not, in three days I was back to my old self because my hormones balanced
out. I got so much flack from everyone because I had to stop breastfeeding. A
friend of my parents even went to the extent of going on the net and printing
me info on why it’s important to breast feed your child. I actually get sad
thinking about that because everyone considered the baby, but no-one cared to
think about what I was going through. And let it be known, that although my
children have only been breast fed for a month (because I have re-occuring depression, especially
when my hormones get imbalanced due to pregnancy) ,there is absolutely nothing
wrong with any of them!! I have four strong, healthy children, and that’s because
I fought for a healthy mind.
So listen, if you are going through this, I know that
everyone expects something from you and you don’t want to disappoint anyone,
and you also don’t want to under-perform as a mom. I just want to tell you that
if you are not okay, then your baby is not okay. You have to be real with yourself, stand your ground, and throw other peoples’ expectations out the door
because admitting that you have post-natal drepression and getting help does not
make you a lesser mom than any other mom out there.
When it comes to your own welfare and that of your child’s
you have the right to make the decisions and do what’s right. As a woman and as
a mom, the power is yours. Believe that and own it!
Here are the contacts for the Postnatal Depression
Support Association South Africa (PNDSA) – you can go to http://www.pndsa.org.za or call 082 882
0072. Remember, you hardly regret the things that you do, but usually the things that
you don’t do. You can also contact your GP to get help and for referral to a psychologist or psychotherapist.
